This came to me from one of the leaders of the church where I work and I just HAD to pass it on…
HYMN # 365
A minister was completing a temperance sermon.
With great emphasis he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”
With greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”
Fist in the air, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river!”
The minister sat.
The song leader stood and announced, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, ‘Shall We Gather at the River.'”
At any choral concert, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go to the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
And from the “you’ll only see this in my home state of Vermont” file…
WATERFORD, Vt. (WCAX) Police say a driver hit a bear on the interstate in Waterford.
It happened Tuesday at about 10:30 p.m. on Interstate 93 southbound.
Police say Jake Kenney, 28, of Littleton, New Hampshire, was going about 60 mph when he spotted the bear and tried to avoid it. But he hit the animal.
The crash caused moderate damage to the passenger side of the car.
(Wait for it……..)
It is unclear how the bear is doing.